


With Him

by appeuro



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appeuro/pseuds/appeuro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did it have to be the last night of the last day of his last summer here?</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Him

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Lana Del Rey; Summertime Sadness

This time tomorrow, Kyungsoo will be back in the heart of Seoul, smog faded stars outside his window and the blaring of cars honking below his 12th story room. He’d be lying in bed missing the breeze blowing off the salty sea water into his family’s beach home and the crash of heavy water against white sand.

Kyungsoo let this settle over him as he sat, mesmerized, by the dancing flames in front of him. It was the last night of summer vacation and all they could think of to send the summer off was to have yet another bonfire. It wasn’t very original, but it was tradition.

Kyungsoo had been doing this, going to Sokcho beach, ever since he could remember. He’s pretty sure his first memory takes place on this beach. He remembered the first time he freaked out over stepping on slimy seaweed, convinced it was a sea monster or a jelly fish that had come to kill him. He remembered his first kiss with a strange girl with strawberry blonde hair visiting from Busan, and how it really wasn’t love and that they didn’t pretend it was either. He also remembered the summer he didn’t want to come, rebellious and too cool for family vacations, sunshine and laughter (His mom made him go anyway). So, Kyungsoo wouldn’t find it too hard to believe if someone told him he had spent more time on this beach than he had any other place.

Around the end of June, Kyungsoo looked forward to his mom nagging him and his brother to pack nearly everything in the apartment and stuff it into the trunk of their compact car. He loved that he’d be getting away from his city friends to join his beach friends for three weeks out of the year. But, now, after finishing his last year of high school, this would probably be Kyungsoo’s last visit for a while. 

This time next summer, he’ll probably be lazing around on a Parisian beach, taking photographs and falling in love. Kyungsoo smiled a little to himself at that last part.

“Hey! Soo! Want another beer?”

Kyungsoo startled from his memory laden fog to stare up at his friend Chanyeol.

He and Chanyeol had been friends going on twelve years now. He recalled the first time they met.

Kyungsoo had been building a sandcastle. He told himself that he would be serious this time. Before, he would just attempt to make one before getting bored and digging holes instead. But this time, he told himself he’d take his time, carve out every little window, and even make a working moat. But just as he was going to insert the flag he made out of a napkin and straw, he saw little feet trampling his creation. Kyungsoo didn’t have to think about it. He was six after all. He burst into tears, his tiny fists and body flying out to push and hit whoever it was.

It all ended with two sulky and bossy six year olds pouting as their parents made them rebuild the castle together. And they’ve been beach best friends ever since.

“Um… No…,” he replied, downing the last of his previous beer.

“You sure?” His friend replied, smile wide and goofy.

Kyungsoo nodded, smiling as his friend opened the offered beer, guzzling it himself.

“What about you Jongin?”

Kyungsoo watched Jongin shake his head, and he swore they shared a brief conspiratorial smile through the blaze between them.

The embers danced in front of him, almost to the beat of the music blaring on the boombox half buried in the sand. Kyungsoo realized he was going to miss this. 

He’d miss Chanyeol being the life of every party and the duets with Baekhyun. Baekhyun would sing accompanied by Chanyeol’s drunken guitar playing. Kyungsoo would miss the smell of smoke in his hair the next morning and the sand between his toes. He’d miss Junmyeon’s silly antics for attention, like the time he danced around the fire with a beer can balanced on his head, eventually pulling Sehun up to join him and start a cha-cha line. And Jongin. Jongin was always there, in the background, laughing, smiling, joking, but he always left before anyone could say goodbye or remember to ask him to stay.

Kyungsoo could count on one hand how many times he had talked to the other boy. He blamed it on Jongin’s family beach house being the furthest away and the fact that Jongin was the last to join the beach bunch. 

Jongin started vacationing in Sokcho around the time Kyungsoo was a freshman in high school. Everyone already had their cliques, and Kyungsoo figured Jongin hated coming to the beach anyway because he once heard him telling Jongdae how he would rather be at dance camp then here, sitting around, “doing nothing”.

But to be honest, Kyungsoo was a bit afraid of Jongin. He was a mystery, and arguably the best looking out of them all. Despite that, he was not very outgoing, always a bit over it, and seemed to be judging everything and everyone. They never truly crossed paths, and Kyungsoo always felt insecure in front of those almond shaped eyes and white teeth. Jongin would always come back each summer a little bit taller, more muscular, and a lot more enigmatic.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was called Casper by his beach buddies the first week of vacation until he started gaining some color. And aside from studying and taking pictures, Kyungsoo didn’t do much in the way of fitness during the school year.

It was the same every year, but it never got old. Kyungsoo loved going home exhausted, sun burned, and a little bit home sick.

He kicked a bit of sand out of his flip-flops as he stood up. He stretched his arms high before deflating. Looking to his right, he noticed the game of “beach volleyball” going on. There was a lot of stumbling and missing of the beach ball.

Kyungsoo’s hand instinctively rose as the bright multi-colored inflated ball came his way, snorting as he smacked it hard enough to bop Yixing on the head.

“Oh, it’s on now!” Minseok shouted as a dazed Yixing continued to stand there.

Kyungsoo stood watching, standing in the back, only hitting the ball when no one else was there to get it. He ran to grab his camera, making sure to snap a few shots of his friends. Friends he probably wouldn’t see for a while since they’d all be embarking on their own paths in life tomorrow.

“Shit!” Sehun cried out when their ball sailed toward the blackening ocean.

Kyungsoo watched his friends gather around the chilled evening water before yelling and arguing who was going to go get it. Kyungsoo was sure there was some rock, paper, scissors and accusations of cheaters, all while the ball sailed further away from the shore.

Kyungsoo smiled to himself before he noticed a hand wrapping around his forearm and tugging him away from the bonfire site, his camera swinging from his shoulder. 

“Shh, come on.”

There was that flash of pearly white, and Kyungsoo’s sandals sinking and slipping in the sand as he was pulled further away, the sand going from a fiery warm color to a shadowy blue.

Kyungsoo wanted to know where he was being dragged to, but he didn’t say a word. He silently followed, his footsteps falling awkwardly into Jongin’s, who kept looking back every few steps. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if it was to check if he was okay or if he was still coming.

“Ever been this far out before?”

Kyunsoo shook his head before he remembered Jongin couldn’t see him.

“Um… No…”

Kyungsoo wasn’t lying. He had never been this far west on the beach. No one really came this far. The sand was littered with tree branches and debris, and the wind felt colder and harsher with the huge rock cliffs blocking the sun.

“Really?”

Kyungsoo nodded again. Jongin was able to see him this time because they had slowed down to a pace Kyungsoo could keep up with.

“Hmm…,” Jongin replied before leading them to a large fallen branch. Kyungsoo sat down next to Jongin, confused and a little curious. But he wasn’t confused for long because the horizon was beautiful from this spot on the beach. The sun was setting, purple meeting orange and yellow, clashing against the blackish blue of the horizon.

Kyungsoo hurried to take out his camera before he stopped.

“Uh… Do you mind?” Kyungsoo asked, red rushing to his cheeks.

“No, go ahead.”

Kyungsoo smiled before turning his camera on and bringing it up to his eye. He adjusted and readjusted so that he could get every single layer of the sky. But just one picture wasn’t enough. He walked around the shore, moving his camera so he could capture more or less. 

When he deemed he had enough, Kyungsoo turned to see Jongin staring up at the darkening sky, his legs stretched out in front of him, white sand sticking to the dark hair on his legs, white fingers splayed against the nearly black bark.

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but snap a picture. It was instinctual.

“S-sorry. I’ll delete it if you want,” Kyungsoo stammered as Jongin’s head dropped down, eyes dark and focused on him.

“Nah. it’s okay,” and his smile and laid back demeanor was back.

“So, do you study photography or something?” Jongin asked, voice pastel from the breeze. “You usually carry that thing with you everywhere.”

Kyungsoo shook his head as he headed back to the branch.

“It’s more of a hobby right now, but I want to though…,” Kyungsoo added as he sat down beside Jongin, his fingers fluttering over his camera, a little embarrassed.

Jongin nodded, eyes on Kyungsoo’s camera.

“Can I try?”

“Uhh…. Yea,” Kyungsoo said, a little startled. No one had ever asked or showed interest in his camera before.

Jongin took the heavy metal from Kyungsoo before standing up. Kyungsoo watched Jongin fiddle with the device before he also stood to help.

“First you push this, and you can adjust the lens like this,” he said as Jongin nodded along.

“Hmmmm, what should I take a picture of?” Jongin amused as he looked around.

Kyungsoo stood back, hands clasped and still tingling from brushing Jongin’s warm ones.

“Whatever you like,” Kyungsoo offered. “That’s the beauty of photography. You can keep a little bit of whatever you want for yourself.”

Kyungsoo watched with amusement as Jongin went around looking for something to keep, finally settling on photographing their footprints in the sand.

“Ah, why is it so blurry!?” Jongin harshly whispered after his fifth time taking the same picture.

“Here,” Kyungsoo offered, crouching down beside Jongin.

He wrapped his hands around Jongin’s after adjusting the settings a bit and adjusting the lens.

“Do it now,” Kyungsoo whispered.

Jongin pressed down on the shutter, the LCD screen showing a perfectly focused picture.

“Yah! You’re really good at this,” Jongin commented, smile wide as he eyed the picture.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo muttered as he stood up, his hand coming up to scratch behind his ear.

 

By this time, the sun had nearly hid behind the horizon, and the moon was coming to take its place.

“S-should we be heading back?” Kyungsoo asked, his face turned toward the direction they came.

“If you want to,” Jongin replied, handing Kyungsoo back his camera.

Kyungsoo didn’t really want to go back even though it was the last day of summer. This was new. This was exciting. Jongin was exciting.

“We don’t have to,” Kyungsoo said, voice just above a whisper.

“Good,” Jongin replied. “It’s not like I hate bonfires or anything. It’s just that we do the same thing every year. Kinda bored, you know?”

Kyungsoo nodded as they meandered down the beach, Jongin picking up a few seashells to toss against the sea.

“Yeah, I know,” Kyungsoo replied. “Been doing this… I mean, coming here ever since I could remember.”

Silence settled over them as they walked further down the beach.

“What are you going to do once you get back to….,” Kyungsoo asked, trailing off. He didn’t know where Jongin was from.

“Seoul. I go to a dance academy there while I’m in school. Last year of high school. I can’t wait.”

“Wow, that’s cool.”

“Yeah, it’s tough while I’m there, dancing from dawn to dusk, but I miss it every time I leave for the summer.”

Kyungsoo nodded even though he didn’t understand. “You don’t like it out here?”

"Well, my parents make me come. This isn’t really my scene to be honest.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo replied. They didn’t have much in common after all.

“Hey, wanna check out that store? I’m kinda hungry.”

Kyungsoo nodded, eyeing the brightly lit shack set back from the sand.

“Race you there!”

 

When the two emerged from the small beach shack, they had an armful of snacks and drinks, a lantern and even a blanket for a makeshift picnic. Jongin dropped the snacks onto the middle of the blanket before plopping down beside it.

“Who needs alcohol to have fun!?” Jongin called out as he opened a bottle of soda, fizz spraying everywhere.

Kyungsoo laughed moving away from the spray.

They talked about their future dreams, their families, and friends back home around mouthfuls of sugar and salt laden snacks. Kyungsoo couldn’t remember the last time he spoke so much, and he caught himself staring at the way Jongin’s eyes crinkled as he talked about the time he got too into one of his performances and danced long after the music stopped, or the way his mouth frowned when Kyungsoo shared how he wasn’t too confident about his looks.

“What do you mean you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

Kyungsoo shrugged. It just never happened. He didn’t think it was going to happen either. 

“I’ve kissed a girl before, but…," 

This was so embarrassing Kyungsoo thought as his eyes landed on everything but Jongin.

"Don’t worry about it,” Jongin cut-in, voice softer and with more understanding than Kyungsoo thought Jongin would have.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Kyungsoo asked. 

As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. What a silly question. Jongin was always surrounded by girls whenever he came around. He didn’t have to do a thing, they flocked to him as if he were some kind of magnet.

“Nope,” Jongin replied, simply and confidently as he took a swig of soda.

Kyungsoo couldn’t hide his surprise. Maybe he was a player or something. He had to have a girl back home.

“Really?”

“Really,” Jongin said with a tone of finality, standing up.

Kyungsoo didn’t have time to be offended by the clipped tone because Jongin was pulling his shirt over his head and unbuttoning his khaki shorts, eyes on the glistening water. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but stare at the muscled flesh illuminated by the lantern. He wanted to take a picture, but he held back.

“Come on! I’ve always wanted to try this.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “No, you go ahead. I’ll watch.”

“Aww, don’t be such a wuss. They do it in the movies all the time!”

Kyungsoo sighed. He had watched Junmyeon do this plenty of times to know it never ended well. He always ended up sick the first week of class, and vowed never to do it again, only to do it again the next summer. But the way Jongin was looking at him, smiling down at him, waiting for him, made Kyungsoo want to follow Jongin into that cold, dark water.

“A... Alright. But I’m just running in and coming straight out.”

“That’s all I asked for!”

A minute later, Kyungsoo found himself standing next to a boxer clad Jongin, and he in his own briefs, clothes in a haphazard pile on the plaid blanket. This was such a bad idea he thought as Jongin counted down from three.

“Last in is a rotten egg!”

And then there was the sting of water up his nose as Kyungsoo crashed into the black ink liquid, eyes closed, muscles tense as he fought his way past the waves. He didn’t care though because he had never felt this alive before in his life. If he could capture one thing to keep forever, it would’ve been that moment.

“Woo!” Jongin yelled out as Kyungsoo heard him break the surface.

Kyungsoo burst out laughing, his skin already pimpling as he bobbed over to Jongin.

“Was it worth it? Does the movies do it justice?’ Kyungsoo asked, his arms and legs working in tandem to keep him afloat as they let the current drag them out further.

Jongin just smiled before reaching out a hand toward Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo flinched as Jongin's hand came to smooth back his hair, which had been plastered to his face.

"No, it doesn’t,” Jongin replied, his tone serious, hair dripping clear crystals.

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to make of Jongin’s behavior so he just chuckled before lifting his torso up so he could float on his back.

“That was fun,” Kyungsoo admitted as he looked up at the moon and the stars. “I’ve never done that before.”

“For someone who has spent nearly half of his life here, you sure haven’t done a lot,” Jongin replied.

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo whispered before smacking a hand into the water and hitting Jongin with a blast of icy liquid.

He should of known it would have turned into a splash fight and that they’d be exhausted and freezing once they made it back to the blanket.

Kyungsoo shook his head like a dog once they both laid back on the blanket. Now what.

“Coming back here next year?” Jongin asked, turning on his side and stuffing his clothes underneath him like a pillow.

Kyungsoo mirrored Jongin, his head resting on his hand. Jongin looked different, hair smooth and wet and body not as broad without his shirt and upright, confident posture. He looked.... normal. He could see the going in and out of his chest and the ghost of warmth between them when he spoke.

“Probably not. Might study abroad instead.”

“That’s cool,” Jongin replied, eyes still on Kyungsoo.

“Yeah. it’s my dream to go to Paris and just laze around taking photographs all day.”

Kyungsoo chuckled as he picked at the fabric of the blanket. It was the first time he had ever admitted that to anyone. Everyone expected him to become to study science or something. But honestly, he just wanted to take pictures.

“That sounds like fun.”

“Yeah”, Kyungsoo replied. “I’ll miss it here though.”

“Why don’t you just take photographs in Korea then?”

Kyungsoo finally came to the realization that, like Jongin said, there was so much he hadn’t done yet. There were so many places to see, so many places to be. He felt limited here.

“Like you said, I really haven’t done much. For once in my life, I want to travel, see things, do things. I’m not content just coming here three weeks out of the summer anymore.”

Jongin nodded. “I understand.”

“What about you? It’s your last year of school. Got any plans afterward?”

Jongin took a while to reply. Kyungsoo thought Jongin ate, slept, and lived dancing. It was a no brainer that he should join a dance company.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t even auditioned for any places… So, we’ll see what happens when the time comes.”

“Going to come back here next summer?”

Jongin smirked a little, his brown eyes twinkling just a little in the light as his bare shoulder lifted an inch, water droplets long dry.

“I don’t know. I thought I had finally found a good reason to come back, but… I guess not.”

Kyungsoo looked down, his heart swooping in his chest at the way Jongin looked at him. No one ever looked at him that way. No one ever seemed to be looking forward to his arrival either. And Kyungsoo didn’t want to admit that he’d been thinking the same thing. He had finally found the strength to move on, but now he wanted to stay more than ever. He wanted to come back next year and do this all over again. With him. With Jongin. Why did it have to be the last night of the last day of his last summer here?

Kyungsoo hadn’t fallen too deep into his thoughts when he heard Jongin getting up, shaking the sand from his clothes. 

Kyungsoo lifted his round, nearly black eyes up at Jongin.

“Come on. I wanna show you something.”

And this time, Kyungsoo didn’t need any convincing when he took Jongin’s hand in his own as he was lifted from the blanket.

 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Kyungsoo was speechless. This has been here the entire time?

“I usually come up here and just sit. Thinking, not thinking. Just existing.”

They were standing atop a small rocky cliff. It wasn’t too difficult to get to, but it gave a breathtaking view of the water, the moon, and the sand below. It was perfect. Kyungsoo thought he could count the stars from here.

“It’s…. This is amazing…,” Kyungsoo said, still trying to take in the view.

“I know,” Jongin replied, carding his fingers through his hair. "Aren’t you going to take any pictures?“ Jongin continued, looking over at Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo fingered his camera before shaking his head. There was no way he could capture the beauty of the sight before him. There would always be something off, something not right.

Jongin seemed to understand Kyungsoo’s reason why because he didn’t question him further.

"Thanks for showing me this,” Kyungsoo blurted out, his cheeks reddening. “I… It’s so weird that we’ve known each other for so long, but never… You know…”

The corners of Jongin’s lips rose at Kyungsoo’s blathering before cutting him off. Kyungsoo’s hand tightened instinctively around his camera.

All he could smell in that moment was sea salt and skin as he inhaled sharply through his nose. And all he could feel was a cold breeze upon his back and warm lips upon his own as Jongin’s hand cupped his jaw. And then it was over, but like today, he wanted to do it all over again. With him.

And he did, this time being the one to press forward, inexperienced but eager. His freehand slid through thick, damp strands as strong hands gripped his waist. Kyungsoo’s taste buds bloomed under a hint of salt and something uniquely Jongin, hot and enigmatic. This was something he wanted to keep forever. Though he knew he couldn’t.

And when Kyungsoo woke up a few hours later next to Jongin on their red and black plaid blanket, he was still breathless, his heart struggling under the heavy realization that this was both the beginning and the end.

Kyungsoo thought about taking a picture, needing to have a piece of this moment, but instead he opted to memorizing this moment with his hand and eyes. He traced the side of Jongin’s sleeping face, illuminated by the dying moon, with the tips of his fingers. Just light touches, just enough to remember the small dip in his chin and the sharp curve of his jaw. And he couldn’t suppress the flashbacks from hours before washing over him as he traced light fingers over Jongin’s suntanned shoulder and up and down the bare curve of his hip.

Kyungsoo thought he was done with firsts here. But Jongin showed him so much in one night. How could his life ever go back to the way it was? Now he had one more thing to miss.

Kyungsoo sighed as he sat up. They should be heading back. By the look of it, it was probably five in the morning. He’d be leaving for Seoul in a few hours.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo whispered, shaking Jongin’s shoulder.

Kyungsoo grinned at the cute expression on Jongin’s face as he tried to hold onto sleep.

Kyungsoo wanted to freeze time so that he could see this side of Jongin more. So he could make up for all the years they danced around each other.

“Mmmm, just five more minutes, k?” Jongin replied and almost expertly pulled Kyungsoo back down into him.

Kyungsoo snuggled up to Jongin’s warmth, brown strands of hair tickling his nose. Maybe he had two things he was going to miss.

Kyungsoo gave Jongin his five more minutes, and in seven they were back at the main beach.

Jongin’s fingers slid from Kyungsoo’s as they got closer to Kyungsoo’s beach house. Three things he was going to miss.

Kyungsoo didn’t want it to be awkward. He wanted it to be like that kiss from that girl from Busan. He didn’t want to care if he saw him again or not. Kissed him again or not. Was touched by him again or not.

But it was awkward because his fingers lingered and so did his stare when Jongin handed him back his camera. He could already feel their paths diverging and the distance between them.

“Good luck in Paris, Soo.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the new nickname. “Thanks. You too. Don’t forget me when you’re a famous dancer. I'll take your picture.”

Oops. Weren’t they supposed to be forgetting each other after today? Kyungsoo faltered, realizing his mistake.

“I won’t,” Jongin replied with his signature smile, teeth white, lips pulled apart tight. “And I’ll be looking for you in the magazines until then.”

Kyungsoo smiled. He’d be looking for Jongin too. 

“Well… I… I should be going now,” Kyungsoo said, voice barely above a whisper.

Why couldn’t it be the first day of summer instead of the last?

“Yeah, me too,” Jongin said, his eyes toward the rising sun.

Kyungsoo wanted one more kiss, one more minute, one more night. But he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk falling in love any more than he had last night. He might not ever leave

“See you, Soo,” Jongin said as he walked west, hair ruffled by the morning breeze.

Kyungsoo raised a limp hand to Jongin’s back, watching it get smaller and smaller.

“Bye, Jongin.”

There were no promises of next year or exchanging of numbers, e-mail, or vague promises of crossing each other’s path in Seoul. And maybe it was better that way. It’d be more romantic that way, Kyungsoo told himself as he leaned against the window in his mother’s car. It ended as suddenly as it began. And he didn’t regret not one thing, he thought as he scrolled through the photos on his camera, stopping on the picture that showed Jongin, his face turned toward the night sky.


End file.
